Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Friendship Insecurities Struck Again

When I returned to Manila from the States in 1996, it took me awhile to find my place again amongst my friends. I had a few falling outs, some big dramas and finally when the dust settled, I was able to see who my real friends were. By then not many remained, but I am glad that they are still my close friends to this day.

I couldn't figure out why I wasn't as thrilled as I thought I would be when we decided to move back to HK. Hubby was saying I must be thrilled since I'll have a helper again and most of all, I'll be back with my friends. But I guess the fear and insecurity that stemmed from what happened before began bugging me.

When we went to HK for a quick trip early this year to attend a wedding, I thought my fears had come to life when most of my friends couldn't make it to my welcome dinner. At first I didn't think much of it because they all had really legitimate reasons. And I knew there was going to be lot's more other chances to meet up. But Hubby being "protective" became upset for me that how come it didn't seem like my friends were all that excited about my trip back. His comment suddenly made all the old friendship insecurities come back and coupled with the fact that I will be moving back to HK made it even worse. If I wasn't moving back, I wouldn't have minded at all because life goes on. I can't expect to be as connected to my friends if I don't live there anymore.

But since that trip was to actually surprise them with the news that I was moving back, suddenly I wasn't so thrilled about the trip anymore. I told Hubby and myself that we need to have a little faith and I'm sure things will work out.

I was so glad to prove Hubby wrong when we got there.

Not long after we checked into the hotel and before my room service of a gigantic burger even came, P came calling and asked when she could pick me up to take me to D's place to do some catching up before dinner. She wanted to see me before taking her husband to the airport. I wolfed down my burger, ran downstairs and began an evening of friends and more friends. Even though D couldn't make it to dinner, she wanted to make sure she spent time with me before she had to go off to her company dinner. By the end of the night, after a japanese dinner and drinks at Wagyu Lounge, there were close to 15 of us. I went back to the hotel at around 1am that day.

I made my rounds of visiting D with an offering of breads for breakfast the next day, then MP who had a baby in November and then went to Kowloon side to do some shopping with M. I used the opportunity to tell them the news and it was great to feel their sincere excitement of my impending return. By Sunday I had told most of my friends and I was touched that they were truly excited that I was coming back.

I know I will always have my friendship insecurities. But at least that has made me become someone who will always take an extra step to make my true friends feel they are appreciated. And it sure feels good every time I'm reminded at how silly my friendship insecurities are.
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1 comment:

Summer Camps said...

quite silly insecurities, esp with regards to the Thursday group :). don't we always find time to see each other no matter what? I mean, we're like family here, and seriously, we do anchor each other. Tell Chris not to upset you again next time, esp now that you're so hormonal haha. See you in a month's time!