Friday, February 01, 2008

To Ex-Friends

We had a great impromptu dinner this Monday at Gaia. I was feeling abit down and asked the Thursday group if they were free for dinner. Although it was sort of a last minute thing, we were complete! Well, Pam couldn't make it because she's in Manila to have her baby. But if she were in town we were sure she would have made it. The food and conversation flowed really well. Sometimes we get quiet patches in other get-togethers, but this time the food and conversation flowed equally well.

One of the topics that surfaced was my ex-friend. She just had a baby a few days before our dinner and I heard the news through the grapevine. She texted me when she had her first, so I was a bit hurt when I realized she didn't text me this time. But even though I felt bad, I thought I should at least send the baby stuff I had for her which was tucked away. I went to the post office the next day and mailed it. In between that I was feeling sad and hating myself for still feeling that way.

During dinner Mida shared her ex-friend story then Ragamuffin girl. We asked the rest of the ladies if they have ex-friends as well and sadly enough we all do. I felt a bit better that I wasn't alone and wondered why we all seemed to be on the dumpee side of the story.

But while we were on this subject, Ragamuffin girl said something that was on my mind as well. She said in the end we'll be ok that we lost a friend, but its the hurt we feel and knowing the ex-friend doesn't feel the hurt that really stings. I totally agreed with her.

Before my ex-friend and I were inseparable, she had a best friend named Candice. After Candice moved to the States, my ex-friend told me she was jogging one day, which was days or weeks after Candice left. All of a sudden she stopped in the middle of the street and started crying because it finally hit her her best friend was gone.

I've often thought about that and wonder if anything remotely similar has happened to her in regards to me. I seem to be whining and wailing about this whole ex-friend fiasco while ex-friend herself has no reaction to it all. I think that's the part that hurts the most.

I think we should have drank to "ex-friends" that night, clinked our glasses and drowned ourselves in dessert. Well we did have a few desserts that night and I'm just glad the ladies were there to keep me company.

Oh, a few days later ex-friend called to thank me for the gift I sent. She said she thought she texted me. I wished her well and that was the end of the call. Well, I feel good now for sending that gift.

1 comment:

christao17 said...

Good for you for sending the baby clothes. Sometimes it is tempting to do the vindictive or spiteful thing, but it never really is satisfying and it never really soothes the injury.