Saturday, March 11, 2006

Pare, I've Got Your Back

I'm sure you're all familiar with the often used comedic scenario where someone is chosen to confront a monster or poke a bee hive or stand up to the evil boss with the rest of the group crouching behind as they walk up to their nemesis. But as they get a bit too close or the moment sudden movement is detected, everyone runs away leaving the chosen person alone to face their doom. Funny enough, I've found myself in situations like that a few times.

I was reminded of this when hubby went out to celebrate with his collegues last night due to a work related matter. Although I wasn't the one out celebrating, it made me think... what if one day hubby has abit too much to drink and will obviously have a hard time getting home, will any of his more sober collegues or friends stand up to the plate and make sure he gets home alright?

When I was working in the US, I vacationed in Manila during one Christmas and New Years holiday, leaving my then boyfriend behind. When I got back, I found out he had cheated on me one night after going out with a group of friends I introduced him to. I later found out a guy friend of mine whom I thought I could depend on, watched my ex leave the bar with another girl from the group knowing full well what they were up to. He told me after everything had happened that it wasn't his business. Ouch.

A few years later, I was in another sticky situation with my barkada. Due to lack of pertinent information on my part, something happened which caused me to get into a serious argument with a close friend of mine. After I had left the party, my closest friend who knew full well I had no fault in the matter said nothing as this close friend of mine preached to the whole party that I was at fault and did so with full intention. My heart broke when I heard I was not defended.

And yet later during 2 of my jobs in Manila, my collegues jumped ship on me. One was when a dispute occured with management. I was asked to voice our dissappointment, but when management came downstairs to talk about it, they all denied any involvement. The other was when 15 of my collegues said they would attend my wedding and only 3 showed up. Or maybe that is just the standard in Manila. Either ways, I was heartbroken because time and time again I realized I really couldn't count on anyone.

A few years later hubby asked me during our "courtship" stage who was the one person I know I could depend on no matter what. Without hessitation I told him "she" was the one. To this day my heart still breaks everytime I think about how wrong I was.

Growing up in Manila, I often heard the guys say "Pare, I got your back." Foolishly I thought it works for us ladies too. I know there are tons of people out there who aren't as unlucky as I have been when it comes to friendships and relationships. But sheesh, it just sucks that it keeps happening to me. But don't worry, I'm still going to try and forge friendships wherever I go. I'm a sucker for friends. And hey, I've got tons of experience now in case another sob story of mine repeats itself.

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